Campaign Comments

We've all heard by now that the number of vicious attack ads has reached new heights this campaign season. I have very little experience with these ads and I'll tell you why: Tivo and NPR. I watch nothing live on TV. Nothing. Anything I want to watch I record on Tivo and then watch with remote in hand so I can zip through commercials. I simply do not watch commercials. Ever. No insipid hair product commercials, no buy-this-new-pharmaceutical-or-die commercials, no clothing store commercials and no campaign ads. None. Ever. I prescribe this for everyone. Toxic electronica is just as bad for you as toxic air or food. Stay away from it.

My other weapon in my war against incivility is NPR. It's the only station I ever listen to and that means no ads there either. I hear “Morning Edition” on my way to work, “All Things Considered” on the way home and music in between. No screaming djs, no endless sales people, no attack ads.

I hear that people hate these ads but the fact is, they work. If they didn't, they wouldn't exist. So people who complain about them are being disingenuous; they can choose not to be exposed. I did.

Some of them come in the mail and I have seen them. Linda McMahon is running for the Senate here in CT. Her opponent is Richard Blumenthal, the current CT Attorney General. He's been a good AG and would likely have gotten my vote. Then the McMahon attack ads arrived and convinced me: Blumenthal will definitely get my vote. Her first mailings said nothing – nada, zero, zip – about her plans or beliefs. All she could do was rail against Blumenthal. Sorry lady, you lost me immediately. If you don't believe in yourself, why the hell should I believe in you?

Finally, as most of the polls indicate that the Republicans are going to do well in two weeks, I thought I'd share this, in case there's anyone out there who hasn't seen it. I've seen it several places online but don't know who to credit. A bit long, but worth your time.

Don't forget to vote!

A Day in the Life of Joe Republican

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised. All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for Joe's right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor. Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacations because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get worker compensation or an unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. His deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has a Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and a below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he were educated and earned more money over his lifetime. His federally-subsidized student loans allowed him to attend a state-funded university.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host is saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of himself, just as I have."