How hospitals work

A good day is a day when I learn something. It’s best when I learn something fun, or useful. Just as often though I learn something irritating.

Today I learned that, at Yale New Haven Hospital at least, waiting over three hours for a test to be performed is SOP, standard operating procedure. I’d call it SNAFU, situation normal, all fucked up or, better, FUBAR, Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition.

Without going into the details, Ransom and I arrived at 11am, as directed. We signed in and were sent to one of the most uncomfortable waiting rooms I’ve ever seen: no comfortable chairs, no privacy, on a main corridor, no doors to quiet the outside tumult. After waiting 45 minutes I went seeking info at the desk a hundred yards away. “Oh, Ransom’s procedure is scheduled for 12:15; they should be calling you soon,” said the chirpy receptionist.

Wait. 12:15? Why the hell were we told to be here at 11?

As I write this it is now 3:00pm – 4 hours later. We're still waiting.

What I've learned today is that the procedure rooms, on the other side of that door that rarely opens, are all full. It seems that when cardiac emergency patients are brought to the ER, here is where they come next. So while the docs work, heroically no doubt, to save someone’s life, we sit here and wait.

Bored.

Angry.

Hungry.

Neither of us has eaten anything since dinner, 19 hours ago.

Now, I get that saving someone’s life takes priority over a diagnostic procedure. What I don't get is why in the hell those two things are melded into the same space. It’s as if we were told to come to the Emergency Room and they'd get to us after the gunshot, car crash and cardiac victims had all been taken care of.

In fact, that’s just what happened, except that we were not told in advance.

Communication is something they're not very good at here. In four hours one person has come out to talk to this roomful of angry, frustrated hungry patients. She was helpful and apologetic and her manner went some distance towards calming the anger in the room.

But only some.

My friend Don said today that he hates to wait. I hear you, bro. Today’s experience takes waiting to a new level entirely.

Note: it's just shy of 5pm as I post this. Ransom was taken back for his procedure at 4:30. Five and-a-half hours after we arrived.

hack |hak|

The first definition of the word above, according to the dictionary that is installed on my Mac, has to do with cutting, as in hack off dead branches. The second definition is as follows:

2  use a computer to gain unauthorized access to data in a system: they hacked into a bank's computer.

By my understanding of the English language, our scheduling system for students seeking a writing tutorial was hacked on Thursday. Someone stole a tutor’s password, went into the online scheduler and systematically deleted approximately eighty appointments that had been made for Thursday, Friday and Sunday.

As you can well imagine, this caused a major upheaval, freaking out dozens of students and sending me on a multi-hour quest to undo the damage -- I worked on it til 10 that night. Luckily I was able to rebuild the schedule, one appointment at a time; I won't bore you with the details of how tedious that was.

What I will tell you is that the company we rent the software from – whose name I will not reveal because they are just the kind of people who would call out their lawyers – has been remarkably unhelpful and has engaged in a form of logic that I simply can't understand.

I’m asking for your help. Maybe you can explain to me how their brains work.

They tell me we were neither “attacked,” nor “hacked.” They base this claim on the fact that the perpetrator had a usable password and was able to login on his/her first attempt.

. . . your site was definitely not hacked. One of (our) emails (name redacted by Walter) explains what happened really well, because an individual actually used the correct login for XX and canceled the appointments. That person knew the correct password before logging in, and also did not have to change XX password beforehand.

By this logic I assume that if a thief steals a key to someone’s house and uses it to then remove contents from the house a robbery has not occurred.

Am I missing something? Can you help me, readers?

The other fascinating and irritating issue in this tale is why. Why would someone do this? Was it a Yale student pissed off at the tutor whose password was used? Was it a Yale student pissed off at me, or at Yale, or at the world? Or was it a hacker – oops, sorry, we weren't hacked – was it a bored computer user in Alaska or China or Australia who has nothing to do with Yale?

Who the hell knows? I do know that hackers – oh, damn, there’s that word again – often do what they do just for the fun of it. As is certainly true in this case, there is no financial gain involved, no power garnered, no fame earned. They just do it because they can.

Maybe hacker is in fact not the right word. Maybe asshole is.

What a world we live in.

Another loss

(This post is dedicated to Artie Friedman).

As reported within the last hour by KATC.com:

Percy Sledge, the soul singer who took "When a Man Loves a Woman" to the top of the charts in 1966, died this morning at his Baton Rouge home. He was 73. 

Prior to becoming a recording artist, Sledge worked as a hospital nurse. He caught his big break when he recorded "When a Man Loves a Woman." Sledge took the track, his debut single, to number one on both the Billboard Hot 100, where it spent two weeks at the summit, and on the Billboard R&B Chart, where it held the top spot for six weeks. The song also reached the Top 10 in the United Kingdom twice--going to #4 upon its original release and reaching #2 when it was re-released in 1987. The song found new life in the United States in 1991 when Michael Bolton's cover of "When a Man Loves a Woman" topped the Billboard Hot 100. 

Thursday will mark the 49th anniversary of the release of "When a Man Loves a Woman" as a single. 

His other hits included "Warm and Tender Love" (Pop #17, R&B #5), "It Tears Me Up" (Pop #20, R&B #7), and "Take Time to Know Her" (Pop #11, R&B #6).

 Even after his chart success fizzled, Sledge remained a fixture in the music industry, releasing albums and touring the United States to perform live in concert.

 

His contributions to the music industry earned him a number of awards, including a Blues Music Award, a Rhythm and Blues Foundation Pioneer Award, and induction into the Delta Music, Louisiana Music, and Rock and Roll Halls of Fame. 

"He was a wonderful guy in a terrible business," said Steve Green with Artists International Management, Inc., the talent agency that represented Sledge. "He was truly a standout."

 Sledge is survived by his wife and children. Funeral arrangements are pending.

For my part, two comments: like most everyone, I thought "When a Man Loves a Woman" was a wonderful song, an instant classic. But I hated one of its lines: "... turn his back on his best friend if he puts her down." I always thought best friends were more important than girlfriends.

But then I would, wouldn't I?

Also, the list above leaves out a favorite Sledge song: "Out of Left Field." (Listen to it here). It, the ones named above, and 99 others are found on one of my favorite box sets: Percy Sledge The Atlantic Recordings (pictured right). Hardly a loser in the group.

And finally, two minutes eleven seconds into his iconic song, what does he really sing: "When a man loves a woman / he can do her no wrong / he can never ___ some other girl." For my money, the word is "hump."

True that.

Music's in the family

Every six months or so I throw a music party for six to twelve friends. I cook a simple meal and we listen to loud music; there’s usually a theme. Because the music is loud, Ransom is never there. I plan the party based on his travel schedule.

In 2013 I did a Beatles night. I invited my guests to submit their favorite Beatles tunes and then I played back every song that got a vote, ending with the top five. To get them all in I had to start with some of the one-vote getters before people even arrived. I wrote about that night here.

It was fun, and the most fun was the quiz. Is it just I, or does everyone agree that the best part of these evenings is always the quiz?

Yes, there’s a quiz.

Of course there’s a quiz. Music and music trivia are my life.

For “Covers” night, an evening devoted to famous songs and their cover versions, I created a quiz with ten songs, each listed twice. The task was to write the artist who first had a hit with each song, followed by the artist of a successful cover version. I even listed all the artists, to make it easy.

On Beatles night I offered up the letter below, a long-thought-lost missive from John (maybe) to his doctor. The task? Find as many Beatles song titles within the text as you can.

The winner that night escapes my memory, as does the winning total. But I am reasonably sure the winner didn't get to 30.

And there are fifty-one (51!) titles in the letter. (Go back and look again).

The point of all this is that my sister-in-law Jennifer just took the test and scored a record-shattering 45. She asks for, and deserves, public recognition of this feat. Good on you, sis! Jennifer Wilson McCracken, BTQ (Beatles Trivia Queen)!

I didn't give Ransom the test, but I can guarantee he would not do better than his sister. Like me, she loves Liszt and Led Zeppelin (pictured above), Respighi and the Rolling Stones, Debussy and Dylan. That’s a concept Ransom's not into. But there are those in the family who are.

Here then, the letter from John:

Dear Doctor Robert,

Thank you for inviting me to share my concerns. Yes, as you noticed, I’m down. On top of that, I'm so tired all the time. I feel like I cannot carry that weight any longer. I want to just get away by myself; there’s a place in the country I used to love to go to, but I can't even drive my car any longer. I'd love to ask you to help, but I know you can't do that. The breakup has left me nowhere. Man, is it painful.

When I get home I think about the night before and all the misery. Even though all my loving was for naught, and even though I should have known better, I know I'll be back for more. It’s my nature -- don’t ask me why.

You asked about the note I wrote to Julia; here it is:

"Oh darling,

Please don't dwell on the things we said today; we were angry. The two of us were at fault; I shouldn't have said 'don't bother me.' You could never be a bother. I know you love me; do believe I love you too; I know we can work it out.

I realize now that yesterday I should have said that you have every right to do what you're doing -- I need to learn to accept it. I'll get you whatever it takes to make you happy, to make you stay.

I know that your mother never approved of me; I know you think your mother should know, but please think for yourself. Don't give it another thought; just hold me tight, forgive me, and love me. Something made you fear that you like me too much; just slow down please; please me, and I will please you.

I call your name but there’s no reply; you won't see me. Please, babe, help me.

I need you, honey; don't let it be this way. Please love me again and get back to me soon; I've got to get you into my life, babe.

About the dinner tonight, dear: prudence dictates I be on my best behavior; I don't want to spoil the party. You already think I'm a loser – I won't do anything to confirm that.

Please call me, any time at all. It won't be long til I reach the end. Honey pie, say the word, say the words of love. Please.

P.S. I love you."

What do you think, Doc? Is there any hope?

(If anyone wants the answer key, email me and I'll send it along).

Connecticut Bans State-Funded Travel to Indiana Over Controversial Law

This in NOT an April Fool's joke! That was yesterday's post.

Connecticut Gov. Dannel Malloy signed an executive order Monday to ban state-funded travel to Indiana as a protest to that state’s new religious objections law, which critics are slamming as discriminatory.

Malloy, who called the legislation “disturbing, disgraceful and outright discriminatory” against the LGBT community, according to the Hartford Courant, also suggested it would be “a wise choice” to move next year’s Final Four of the NCAA college basketball tournament out of Indiana.

"When new laws turn back the clock on progress, we can’t sit idly by. We are sending a message that discrimination won’t be tolerated." -DM

You go, Gov! I am so glad I live where I do.