Monday, July 18, 2016

Becoming my Dad

Frank R. Foery was an Army man for three decades. While he wasn’t at all like the bullying Marine Col. Bull Meecham from The Great Santini, he was a straight-up military man who wasn’t on the best terms with his softer side. Touchy-feely does not apply.

I remember the first time I hugged him as an adult. He was uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable. It was awkward.

Over time though, Dad softened. I wouldn’t say he cried easily, but I saw him cry -- several times. Always tears of joy and always quickly stopped, but the old tough guy was becoming a bit of a softie.

I started from a different place; I’ve always been a crier – more like my Mom than my Dad I guess. But I’ve noticed of late that, as I’ve gotten older, I cry more often and with less provocation, just like my Dad.

Watching the EastSiders the other day I shed a few tears as I remembered what it was like for me as a twenty-something gay man trying to make a relationship work. Recently I’ve cried over Orlando, Nice and Dallas. Hell, watching Star Trek: The Next Generation I even cried at Tasha Yar’s memorial service.

This morning I listened to I Honestly Love You, a very special song to me, and sobbed out loud. I followed it up with Wild World and Father and Son from Cat Steven’s iconic Tea for the Tillerman album. Both songs flipped on the waterworks.

I’m perfectly at ease with this new, wetter me. Gibran wrote “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” Cynic is one hat I wear, but emotional sap fits too.

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Home

I’ve been home over 48 hours now and it’s great to be here. As good as the trip was, Dorothy was right, “there’s no place like home.” But I gotta tell you, I liked it when someone else made the coffee and cooked the food and washed the dishes and cleaned the bedroom and left a Godiva chocolate on my pillow.

On the other hand, I went almost two weeks without a cold nose nuzzling my hand or a floppy tongue giving me kisses. I missed the dogs and I’m thinking they likely missed me. They certainly missed all the treats they get here as opposed to at the kennel.

To wrap up, Queen Mary 2 was a delight; she’s still the stateliest and most beautiful ship at sea and pampers her guests at a level few other lines match. I love Cunard; I just wish they could smooth out the few rough edges and upgrade their food. On the other hand, the afternoon tea dance was wonderful: a seven-piece band playing mostly 40s-60s songs I knew, with dozens of couples dancing, some of them very well – on the biggest dance floor at sea. And wonderful sandwiches and cakes! The lectures were stellar, as was most of the music, including a show by the Overtones, a five-guy “boy band” with great voices and choreography – didn’t hurt that every song they sang was an oldie I knew and loved. The big production stage show? Not so much, but that’s been true on every ship I’ve been on for years and years.

I attended three lectures on ocean liners and three on the Concorde, two on planets and stars, one planetarium show, two talks on comedy, a lecture on Frank Sinatra’s film career and another on Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. I went to afternoon tea twice, the gym six times, three classical guitar concerts (two with flute) and two performances by the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts.

As in previous sailings I met people whom I hope to never forget. Primary among them, our tablemates, Colin and Dina from Bristol. They were an absolute delight and made me look forward to dinner each night, as I now look forward to seeing them again.

And there was my bridge partner Lloyd, the fastest study I’ve ever seen; he had never played before but took to it like a pro. Playing against us was Pam and Shirley, both fun. Shirley actually has a home on Branford, CT, so it’s very likely I’ll see her again.

And a shout-out and thank you to my travelmate, Malette. He made the whole trip more enjoyable and I was sorry to see him head home to North Carolina.

Cunard’s been at this for 175 years; they do it better than most; I wish they did it perfectly and I’ll keep sailing with them and reminding them what they need to do to make it better.

Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves.

Our cabin, 5162

A passageway I particularly like

Britannia dining room, where we ate

Queen's Room, home to afternoon tea, here pictured

A painting of QM2 with the beloved QE2 on the left