An Evening of Rock and Roll and Tears

I don't remember exactly how I celebrated my 33rd birthday. I was working in Lynchburg, Virginia, as one of the Assistant Managers of Charley's Restaurant. Likely I ate dinner there, drank too much and went home. I now know where I wish I had been.

I wish I had been in New York's Central Park for the first concert by Simon and Garfunkel in eleven years. They were at the top of their form and had managed to bury the hatchet well enough to give an exceptional concert for the half million fans who jammed the park that night.

I wasn't there, but last night I watched the video from that concert and was instantly transported back to the 60s and 70s, listening to songs that are a big part of the soundtrack of my life. I've written before about how important music is to me and last night Simon and Garfunkel formed part one of an intense musical evening.

I choked up a bit when they sang The Sounds of Silence and Bridge Over Troubled Water and sat amazed by the band as they closed with a kick-ass Late in the Evening, a Paul Simon song, one of many they did together. Simon and Garfunkel only released five albums but I know each of those albums word for word and cherish virtually every song on them. I Am a Rock has particular meaning in my life and For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her still makes me shiver. 

Part two of my musical evening was spent with the family and friends of George Harrison as I watched The Concert for George, performed on November 29, 2002, the first anniversary of his death. Recorded at Royal Albert Hall and led by Eric Clapton, it is one of the very best concerts I have ever seen on video. From an absolutely stunning opener by Anouska Shankar (Ravi's daughter) to an emotionally overwhelming My Sweet Lord and Wah Wah, it is a perfect concert and a loving tribute to the man known as "the quiet Beatle." Jeff Lynne, Ringo Starr, Tom Petty and others add to the festivities and Billy Preston's vocals on My Sweet Lord are simply killer.

Perhaps the most mesmerizing presence on stage though is Dhani Harrison, George's son and a guitarist in his own right. He mainly plays back-up until the aforementioned My Sweet Lord and Wah Wah, when the energy and emotion of the night seem to take hold of him and release his passion. It is really something to see and had me in full-out tears.

Like Simon and Garfunkel, the Beatles are a key part of my musical upbringing and George's contributions, while not as epic as John and Paul's, are not to be ignored. Consider: he wrote Here Comes the Sun, Something, Tax Man, I Need You, If I Needed Someone, and Within You, Without You, as well as Photograph with and for Ringo. And he wrote While My Guitar Gently Weeps, maybe his best, and certainly one of the Beatles' best. It is played here in a scorching version that features three of the original players: Ringo on drums, Paul on piano and vocals and Eric Clapton on guitar, recreating one of the most iconic sounds of all Beatles records.

It was a great concert and a wonderful way to spend a Monday night. After hearing Pat Metheny live on Saturday night I've had a generous share of guitar music these last few days and am happier for it.

LLR!

Campaign Comments

We've all heard by now that the number of vicious attack ads has reached new heights this campaign season. I have very little experience with these ads and I'll tell you why: Tivo and NPR. I watch nothing live on TV. Nothing. Anything I want to watch I record on Tivo and then watch with remote in hand so I can zip through commercials. I simply do not watch commercials. Ever. No insipid hair product commercials, no buy-this-new-pharmaceutical-or-die commercials, no clothing store commercials and no campaign ads. None. Ever. I prescribe this for everyone. Toxic electronica is just as bad for you as toxic air or food. Stay away from it.

My other weapon in my war against incivility is NPR. It's the only station I ever listen to and that means no ads there either. I hear “Morning Edition” on my way to work, “All Things Considered” on the way home and music in between. No screaming djs, no endless sales people, no attack ads.

I hear that people hate these ads but the fact is, they work. If they didn't, they wouldn't exist. So people who complain about them are being disingenuous; they can choose not to be exposed. I did.

Some of them come in the mail and I have seen them. Linda McMahon is running for the Senate here in CT. Her opponent is Richard Blumenthal, the current CT Attorney General. He's been a good AG and would likely have gotten my vote. Then the McMahon attack ads arrived and convinced me: Blumenthal will definitely get my vote. Her first mailings said nothing – nada, zero, zip – about her plans or beliefs. All she could do was rail against Blumenthal. Sorry lady, you lost me immediately. If you don't believe in yourself, why the hell should I believe in you?

Finally, as most of the polls indicate that the Republicans are going to do well in two weeks, I thought I'd share this, in case there's anyone out there who hasn't seen it. I've seen it several places online but don't know who to credit. A bit long, but worth your time.

Don't forget to vote!

A Day in the Life of Joe Republican

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised. All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for Joe's right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor. Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacations because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get worker compensation or an unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. His deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has a Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and a below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he were educated and earned more money over his lifetime. His federally-subsidized student loans allowed him to attend a state-funded university.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host is saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of himself, just as I have."

Glee Gay Guy

I admit it, I like Glee, Fox' s high school musical drama about a glee club and it's odd group of talented singers. It's a guilty pleasure, and there are episodes I've hated (think Britney Spears) but very often the drama is compelling and the musical performances outstanding.

I am, of course, taken with Kurt, the gay boy played by Chris Colfer (left). In the latest episode he says to his father "I am the only openly gay kid at school, in this town."  What a gutsy moment for a teenager on an American TV show. Everyone involved with Glee is to be commended for developing an honest and positive portrayal of a gay teen. With any luck there are gay kids across America feeling a bit better about themselves because of Colfer's  character.

But I've been thinking about my own experience in high school and wondering what more Fox might do to take this show to the next level. Although I had my first gay sexual experience between junior and senior year, I was not gay in high school and I was never taunted or made fun of. In fact, I was, mostly, one of the popular kids. I dated girls, played basketball after school and wasn't effeminate. My sexuality had been mostly non-existent until I was 17 and I was a virgin till I was 20.

I think about all the gay kids out there today who don't fit the Kurt mode. The kids more like me, and those even more advanced in their coming out process. The football players, head cheerleaders, rock guitarists, student body presidents -- all the straight-looking, straight-acting kids who are keeping a secret. Where's the role model for them?

When the cute-as-a-button Chord Overstreet (right) joined the cast recently I hoped his character was gay. THAT would be another giant leap forward. Anyone looking at the Glee kids and asked to pick out the gay boy would surely pick out Kurt easily. Why not add a gay character who's not so obvious? That would send another message to America: we are not always who you think we are and we are not always effeminate boys and butch girls. We come in all styles and are ordinary people, just like you.

I am very proud of Fox for having the guts to do what they've done with Glee. I look forward to the show developing even more characters of varied stripes.

Footnote: how do you explain the different worlds Fox TV's entertainment and news divisions travel in? You got me.

A new hero

For most of my life I've only had one real hero, and that was Walter Cronkite. Like many Americans, I trusted him and looked up to him. He told the truth, never so importantly than when he told us that we were not winning in Vietnam and that the generals and politicians were lying to us. My words of course; Uncle Walter was just as direct but much more polite. I've written before about how sad I was the night he left the CBS News; who now would speak truth to power?

That question has finally been fully answered to my satisfaction: Dan Savage speaks truth and, as with Cronkite, I trust him and believe in him.

For those who don't know, Dan writes the syndicated relationship and sex column Savage Love for the Seattle Stranger; he's an author of several books, including The Kid, the heartwarming true tale of his adoption, with his husband Terry Miller, of their son DJ; he's a commentator on issues political and social; and now, most importantly, he's the founder, with Terry, of the “It Gets Better” Channel at YouTube, a project aimed at assuring America's gay youth that yes, it DOES get better. Middle school and high school can be terribly hard for gay kids, but his message is that if you can somehow stick it out, you will see, we promise, that life gets better. (Click here to listen to Melissa Block's piece on All Things Considered.)

This is a message the conservatives and bible thumpers don't want kids to hear. They'd rather kids suffer discrimination, bullying and physical violence than have the right to be who they are. They are so homophobic and hate-filled that the idea of same-sex love is worse to them than teen suicide.

Dan Savage has devoted his life to telling the truth. That truth has never been more important than it is now. The last few weeks have seen several well-publicized teen suicides and now the disgusting story of two 17 year-olds gay-bashed and tortured by a group of nine thugs in New York.

Dan is my hero. He is America's hero.

Two great voices lost

I was at Shea Stadium for a Mets game one afternoon several years back; that night I took in a different Metropolitan: I was at Lincoln Center for an opera performance. I remember wondering how many people at the Met were also at Shea earlier in the day. Damn few I bet. Likewise I'm guessing there are few music lovers out there who are today mourning equally the loss of two disparate voices: Dame Joan Sutherland and King Solomon Burke. I am very happy that my musical tastes are so catholic; I will miss both of these wildly different artists.

I never saw either of them live. I spent my high school years in the South though and King Solomon was very well known and well represented on WANT, the most popular black radio station in Richmond, Virginia. Likewise, Sutherland was well represented on the Saturday afternoon Met broadcasts, but that pleasure was years away for me.


Burke's first hit was Just Out of Reach (Of My Two Empty Arms) a country tune that he made his own, while his biggest hit was Cry To Me. My favorite has always been Everybody Needs Somebody To Love. He never achieved the success of Otis Redding or Sam Cooke, but he was the essence of what a great soul singer strived to be. He influenced everyone from Redding to the Rolling Stones. His 2002 autobiographically-titled comeback album Don't Give Up On Me earned him a well-deserved Grammy. I have 77 Solomon Burke tracks in my iTunes library and am working my way through them all. There's not a loser in the bunch.

Joan Sutherland, dubbed La Stupenda by the pickiest opera-goers in the world, the Italian critics, made her Met debut in 1961, singing the title role in Lucia di Lammermoor. It was this role that jump-started my love of opera. I was in Lynchburg, Virginia, in the early 80s and was listening to the Saturday afternoon broadcast. I knew almost nothing about opera, nothing at all about Joan Sutherland. When she began the mad scene I stopped what I was doing, sat down and stared at the speakers, dumbstruck. The voice and the intensity bowled me over. I had never heard singing like that, never heard passion like that, before. I bought the recording that day and have treasured it ever since. Pavarotti called hers “the voice of the century.” You'll get no argument from me. 

---------- F L A S H ---------- 

U.S. District Court Judge Virginia Phillips has just struck down “Don't Ask, Don't Tell.” Brava to her! And shame on Barack Obama for not doing what he promised to do. There's no question in my mind: the world would be a better place if women were in charge!

Hatred is back in fashion

Not that it ever went away, but for years homophobes and racists tried to avoid outright bigotry in at least their public statements. Not any more. I suppose we have Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin and John McCain to thank for this.

Carl Palidino, the Republican candidate for governor of New York -- not one to ever check his tongue or his temper -- showed his stripes proudly yesterday in Brooklyn.  He doesn't want children "brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid and successful option — it isn’t."

He got one thing right; homosexuality is not an option; it is not a choice; it is a basic fact of who a certain percentage of us are. 

I am SO TIRED of these jerks railing against us! And, oh yeah, he of course used god to back up his diatribe: "That’s not how God created us." (See the New York Times coverage here).

Well, he got that right too, but only because god didn't create us at all. Mom and Dad did. In most cases, STRAIGHT mom and dad. We are gay because we are gay; you, Mr. Palidino, are a jerk for other reasons. We were born to be who we are; you chose to be a jerk.

Maybe it's that choice that we should all rail against.

God hates Christians

I'm guessing you didn't hear that (see blog title) at today's Supreme Court arguments, but I'd argue it's likely more true than "God hates fags," a remark you probably did hear. The case argued was Snyder v Phelps, in which Albert Snyder, father of Marine Matthew Snyder, who died in Iraq in 2006, is trying to put a stop to the hateful practices of Reverend Fred Phelps. Phelps is the hate-filled bigot who goes around the country to protest against gays, and against people who accept gays, at military funerals and other events. Yes, in case you aren't aware of this asshole, that's what he does: he travels the country to protests outside funerals, carrying signs saying "God hates fags." It doesn't seem that the sexuality of the deceased matters to Phelps; he's just looking for a platform from which to spew his venom. Other signs at his events read "Thank God for 9/11" for he also says that God hates America as a result of its tolerance of homosexuality, and that the September 11 attacks were an act of divine retribution. He even claims that the astronauts who died in the Space Shuttle Columbia disaster are in hell.

When I believed in god I thought she was likely a warm, loving being or that he loved flowers and animals and people of all types. I can't imagine why anyone would choose to believe in a god who "hates." What kind of god would that be? And why would you believe in such a being? If I believed in god I would guess he's much more upset with haters than he is with men who love each other or women who love women. Where exactly does Fred Phelps get his warped notions of what god thinks?

Were I a violent person -- and I am not -- I would wish that someone put this lunatic out of his misery -- slowly, over hot coals. But I do not advocate violence against him or anyone else. He has the right to his hatred and his small-mindedness. Because this is America he also has the right to express his idiocy. As hateful as he is, he has the right to be that way. Courts have repeatedly held that free speech must be protected and that, as long as protesters obey the rules set down by local authorities -- as Phelps does -- pretty much anything goes. Quoting today's Times: "The Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press and 21 news organizations, including The New York Times Company, filed a brief supporting the Kansas church. “To silence a fringe messenger because of the distastefulness of the message,” the brief said, “is antithetical to the First Amendment’s most basic precepts.”

I agree. None of us are free unless we are all free, and that means that even the Fred Phelps of the world are free to their lunacy.

I wonder though: what would happen if I protested in public, carrying a sign showing two naked men making love? Maybe an updated, more graphic version of the image below. Would I too be protected and allowed my free speech? Doubtful. In this country hatred and violence are fine; love? -- only if it adheres to our Puritanical notion of it.

What killed this talented violinist?

I have been thinking about the Tyler Clementi case a lot over the last couple of days. I will not make the mistake of many commentators by presuming to know what was in this young man's mind as he took his own life. The assumption is that he was embarrassed / afraid / angry / distraught -- chose the word you like -- over the fallout of being outed to a worldwide audience. It may be that simple; it could well be far more complex.

What I do know is that gay teenagers commit suicide in frightening numbers. They do it for a lot of reasons, but I believe that one thing is true in each and every case: our society makes it very hard for many gay people to be who they are. We are a homophobic society. Yes, of course, progress has been made, but, as this case perhaps shows, that progress has been woefully inadequate.

Media types have been rushing to place blame for Clementi's death. Obviously his roommate is the go-to guy here, but people have argued that Rutgers is at fault or that higher education is at fault. I heard an NPR interview today with Penn State researcher Sue Rankin, author of "2010: The State of Higher Education for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender People." She stated that fully a third of LGBT students have seriously considered leaving their school because of an anti-gay environment and that only seven percent of colleges offer LGBT support services. She's met students who were comfortably out in high school but who reopened the closet door because of a fearful college environment.

Where, ultimately, does the blame lie for this tragedy? With organized religion, I say; specifically, with America's Christians. Yes, all of them, not just the radical right and the Terry Joneses of the world. It is biblical interpretation that is the foundation for homophobia in western thought and it is America's Christians who must shoulder the blame for not putting an end to this intolerance, at least here, in the land of the free.

Again, yes, of course, progress has been made. Plenty of Christian parishes and even denominations are welcoming and affirming, but it is a long road between welcoming a few gay people into your fold and actively working to stamp out the hatred that is supported by your basic text. Whether you argue that the bible does not in fact condemn homosexuality, or that it cannot be taken literally, or that the church has changed, the undeniable fact is that plenty of Americans use the bible to support their homophobia. Christians leaders know this and have not done nearly enough to change it.

I ask Pope Benedict; I ask the Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams; I ask Bryant Wright, President of the Southern Baptist Convention; I ask all the leaders of all the Christian faiths Americans believe in: how many more teenagers must die before you put a stop to it?

Minimum TV

I would imagine the competition for "America's Worst Cable Company" is pretty fierce, but I'm pretty sure that the company I am cursed with, Cablevision Systems Corp. of Bethpage, NY, has a good chance of winning the crown.

Cablevision calls their service “Optimum” – what a joke; I carry basic cable and HBO. I have been without half of those channels since at least Sunday, Sep 19. That means today is Day 13! I didn't notice it till I looked at Tivo on Tuesday the 21st and saw that shows had not been recorded. I called Cablevision. They sent someone out the next day. He checked everything here and found no problem; he admitted that he had been on calls like this for a week and that the problem had something to do with the cable cards the company supplies its Tivo users, and frequencies. He assured me Cablevision was working on a solution. That was eight days ago. Since then, nothing.

I have called them six times now. Every single time I have to tell the whole story as if no one had ever heard of this before. Every single time they ask me to try the same fix. Every single  time it doesn't work.

Then they put me on hold and come back to say that, yes, the engineers are aware of the problem and are working on a solution but, sorry, there's no resolution date yet.

Cablevision is, let us not forget, a government-regulated monopoly. I have no choice of companies. It's CableNOTvision or nothing. I can't get AT&T Uverse and I am not interested in either DirectTV or DishNetwork because even their minimum packages are too expensive and too garbage-laden and in both cases include local channels from Hartford, not the New York locals I am used to.

So I'm stuck.

With the WORST CABLE COMPANY IN AMERICA!

Well, maybe I'm not stuck: I just ordered an antenna. We'll see what I can get over the air. Imagine the irony if, in 2010, I can get better TV reception with 60 year-old technology than I can with the best that Cablevision can offer! They should be ashamed.

Is there anyone out there who still wonders why I'm a cynic?!