"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is."

I have decided to bow to enormous pressure from my fans – ok, two people casually asked if I were ever going to blog again – and restart these musings. As was so often the case the first go-round, I write today of the absurdity (read lies and deceit) of our corporate culture.

I am grateful that I never heard Bill Clinton speak those words above. I respected the man too much to pay a moment’s notice to his sexual escapades, and I fervently wished the rest of the country had done the same.

But I thought of that remark today when I visited amazon’s website, wondering where my latest order was and saw the word “Delivered” attached to it. I guess it depends on what the meaning of the word “delivered” is.

To me, it’s pretty simple: I order something from amazon, they send it to me, and when I receive it then it has been “delivered.”

amazon has a different take: they consider my order “delivered” once it has left their warehouse and been handed over to a third party. In this case that would be the United States Postal Service, via a scheme amazon calls “Smartpost.” So yes, they're right; my package was “delivered” – only not to me. It was delivered to some unidentified employee working at an unnamed facility, presumably in the New Haven area. When it will actually be delivered to me is anybody’s guess.

I have long been a member of amazon Prime. This is the $79 per year service – soon to be $99 – that promise two-day delivery for most items. The item I ordered (Bob Dylan’s 30th Anniversary Concert DVD) was covered by Prime. As you can see below, I ordered it on March 10 and it was “delivered” on March 14. So even if it had been delivered to me, the person who actually ordered it, it would not have been delivered on time.

It really does depend on what you mean by “delivered”.

My next composition will be an email to amazon canceling my (not-really) Prime membership.

And tomorrow I'll write about Metro-North and the absurdity of today’s news from them: Report Finds Punctuality Trumps Safety at Metro-North.