Getting old is not for sissies

My friend Don reminded me of the above fact recently and, boy, is he ever right. I went today for my annual mole screening, a process that has taken maybe five minutes in the past. Today I was there for the better part of an hour. They froze something on my forehead; they took a biopsy of something else on my forehead; they took another biopsy of a mole on my foot; they put stitches in my foot to close the biopsy hole – the one good news from the visit was that I have very good blood flow; that’s why I needed the stitches.

The best guess is that the mole on the foot is not cancerous, but the one on my forehead may need surgery. They also ordered a prescription cream that I am to use on my forehead and temples for several weeks. And they recommended a specific Neutrogena sunscreen to use.

And all I was expecting was “everything looks fine; see you in a year.” (FYI, I keep using “they” because there were in fact two of them: a doctor and an intern, the first female, the second male, going over every inch of my body – yes, every inch. It was, um, interesting).

Add these issues to that of my right knee, which, you may remember, was replaced a year and-a-half ago, but is still swollen and painful and likely needs more surgery.

And then there’s my left knee, which is sporting a rather large and painful Baker’s Cyst, a result of deterioration that an MRI showed includes bone-on-bone destruction. The diagnosis there? Another knee replacement.

Is there more? Well, yes, but it’s not worth discussing my diabetes, arthritis, back pain and continued loss of higher brain function.

That last is a joke.

Sorta.

This all sucks and though, yes, I know plenty of people have it worse, that doesn’t make me feel a damn bit better. And frankly, I don’t expect to feel much better. Optimism was something that stopped working years ago.

Maybe it’s time to start smoking weed again. Mindlessness means painless, right?

And, as if I needed a reminder that all this is part of the human condition everywhere, a dear friend texted me while I was writing this; he’s in the ER with his wife; at first they thought she might have had a stroke; now they don’t know what it is.

Optimism? Tell me again why some people believe in it.