Annie

Annie Foery

10/16/1926-05/29/2011

My Aunt Annie has passed away. Another of the not-so-many links to my past has been severed. It was with her, and my beloved Uncle Walt, that our family always stayed when we visited Rochester. The two of them, and their three wonderful kids (my cousins, Paul, Anne and Meg) meant “family” to me. There were others in the Foery clan and there were, of course, members of my mother's family as well, but they were rarely seen; my extended family was always these five terrific people.

Uncle Walt died in 1988, a cruelly young 74 years old. He went very quickly, shocking and saddening us all. Annie carried on, reveling in the love of her children, then her grandchildren, and lately her great grandchild. This was a remarkably close family, celebrating holidays and birthdays together, traveling together, supporting each other through times joyful and sad.

I have not been a part of the Rochester clan too often over the years. I've paid a few visits and come to weddings and funerals, but it's been a long time since I was there for any of those legendary Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners, and I have not gone on any of the vacations. This is my fault and it is my loss.

Through the years though I have always taken strength from the love that Annie and her family modeled for me. I have been equally proud and jealous, and, truth be told, shamed that I am not more like Annie and her brood. This weekend in Rochester, hanging out at hospice, was very painful, but was also incredibly inspiring as I watched this amazingly tight family come together to support each other. I felt a bit like an outsider – though that is completely in MY head; my cousins showed me nothing but love and belonging – but I also felt like I grew by being so close to all that love.

Perhaps, in tribute to my beloved aunt, I can learn to be more loving myself.

Vaya con Dios, dear Annie.