Two perfect weddings

On the fourth of June, 1977, my brother married Tracey Farrell in Vermont. It was the best wedding I have ever been to. After the ceremony in the tiniest of classic Vermont wooden churches, we went back to the Farrell farm for a sit-down dinner. We were all in our wedding duds. After a delicious meal and many toasts the formal part of the reception was declared done and we all changed into jeans or shorts and tee shirts. The softball game started and after a bit the band arrived. It was a country band – with a rock edge – and they were great fun. We all danced until late and then ate again. The party went on for hours and was a huge success. (Image is not the Vermont church, but about the same size. Photo by Fred Yenerall).

Until yesterday no other wedding has matched it – I do not put my wedding in the running because it would of course blow away the competition.

On 14 October 2017, Daniel Martin Facey McDonald married Maria Paula Elizondo Estrada in Toledo, OH, and I was honored to be present. It was a Catholic mass and that is a bit hard for me to stomach, but everything else about it was perfect:

A gay man read from Song of Songs: 

Listen! My beloved! Look! Here he comes,
Leaping across the mountains, bounding over the hills.
My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.
Look! There he stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows,
peering through the lattice.
My beloved spoke and said to me,
“Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me. 

The prayers included this:

“Pope Francis has called us to protect, integrate and respect our neighbor, regardless of sexual orientation, religion, race or immigration status.”

The music was incredible. A dozen members of the Toledo Symphony and a dozen choristers from Bowling State University delivered a survey of classical essentials: 

Purcell: Trumpet Tune
Pachelbel: Canon in D
Handel: Overture
Mozart: Laudate Dominum
Puccini: Nessun Dorma
Bach: Jesu, joy of man’s desiring
Mendelssohn: Wedding March
Franck: Panis Angelicus
Schubert: Ave Maria
Beethoven: Ode to Joy

 (I’m not entirely sure about using Nessun Dorma in a wedding – “No one will know his name,
 and we will have to, alas, die, die!” – but it was delivered beautifully and powerfully and is of course always a joy to hear).

I have never heard more or better music in a wedding.

Then we headed 25 miles out in the country for the reception. Margaritas and Mariachi followed by a sit down dinner that was simply excellent. High-end restaurant quality food in three courses: soup, salad and entrée. The soup was jalapeño pumpkin – exquisite (yes, Ransom, it’s me, loving pumpkin soup; strange but true). The salads were different, depending on entrée ordered; my entrée was short ribs (yes again, RW, strange but true), served with some of the best Brussels Sprouts ever. Everything was beautifully served and delicious.

The toasts were given by the mothers, a lovely gesture I’ve never seen before, and then by friends. The love under the tent was palpable. After dinner we were invited into the barn twenty feet away for dancing and desserts.

It was all simply perfect.

Dan is the son of my dearest friend Tom McDonald and his wonderful, ageless wife Liz. One of the greatest gifts I have ever received is that I have a loving relationship with each of them – I even got to know their daughter Claire on this trip. I was at the wedding as Tom’s friend, but also as Dan and Maria Paula’s, and, as I said, I was honored.

Two great weddings, two wonderful days. Life is good.

The beautiful and deliriously happy couple