It would have been better not to know

Anyone who drives a car has had this experience: traffic comes to a halt; you sit, frustrated, not knowing what’s going on. After a time you begin to inch forward. In ten minutes you come across a police car pulled over to the side of the road and, once past it, traffic opens up and you're on your way.

You still have no idea what happened. Part of you, embarrassed, wishes you had seen something to explain your delay. The longer the delay the more you wish you had seen something.

It happened to me today, though I was on a train. Coming home from New York we made an unscheduled stop at Green’s Farms where we were told that, due to “police activity” at the next stop, we were being held. The conductor feared that it might be a while. No explanation of what “police activity” meant.

The wait turned out not to be so bad: 25 minutes or so. As we pulled into Fairfield station I saw lots of police standing around and perhaps a dozen cruisers in the parking lot, all with their lights flashing. No one was rushing around, no one seemed to be doing much of anything.

Then I saw it. As we left the station I noticed a yellow tarp spread out over one of the tracks — there are 4 sets of tracks in this part of CT — I didn't know at first what I was looking at, until I saw the naked foot poking from the edge of the tarp. Someone’s life had just come to an end within the last thirty minutes.

I had been inconvenienced. She had died.

I still don’t know most of the details, but Amtrak Train 88 struck the woman who was reportedly trying to get to the other side of the station. Why she was on the tracks rather than on the overhead crosswalk is not yet known.

I doubt I will soon forget that yellow tarp. It would have been better not to know.

It certainly would have been better not to see.

Amtrak Train 88 -  NOT the one in today's accident