Thursday, February 16, 2012

Learning from the boob tube


I've been a fan of Glee since the beginning, though at times its been a love/hate thing. There's no denying it has been a positive force for change in the lives of young gays and lesbians, whatever its artistic merits. Smash, the new NBC show cashing in on Fox's success with Glee, looks to be as good -- and may turn out to be better; it's too early to call.

Smashs second episode did something that non-PBS TV rarely does for me: it made think about my own life. I examined my behavior in light of how two characters on the show behaved. The very sexy Raza Jaffrey and the luminous Katharine McPhee play a couple; she's trying to land the lead in a Broadway show; he's working his way up the New York City governmental ladder. She misses an important social occasion because she feels she can't leave a rehearsal; he's justifiably angry that she didn't update him via phone or text.

When she finally shows up they fight; she apologizes, but he walks away. It looks like he'll leave the restaurant angry. But he doesn't. He stops, takes a breath and then holds out his hand. It's a beautiful moment, pregnant with forgiveness and love. It took me by surprise and stopped me cold.

How many times have I done that?

How many times have I instead kept walking, more interested in nurturing my anger than in forgiving?

It's a very hard thing to do -- for me anyway. When I'm angry I feel I have the right to be angry and the right to display that anger. I forget that the relationship -- whomever I might be angry with -- is almost certainly more important than the moment. It's about keeping the big picture in mind, rather than focusing on the small hurt.

I'm not very good at it. I didn't expect a TV show about Broadway would point that out. I'm glad it did.

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