25 Years Ago Today

April 8, 1986 was the day I moved into Ransom's New York apartment. It had been a whirlwind courtship only a couple months long; can anyone say “rushing it”? If you haven't read the story of those beginnings, you can do so here.

It was a two-bedroom place at 123 West 93^rd, plenty large for a single man, rather cramped once I moved in. I didn't bring a lot of stuff, but it was still tight. The second bedroom was an office so there was no place for us to hang out separately. There was certainly no place for me to get down and listen to loud rock and roll, something I quickly realized made him crazy.

But we adjusted and learned to live together. Not always smooth sailing, but we persevered. I would be lying if I didn't admit that it was helpful he travelled so much. We needed time apart to be able to grow together.

After a couple of years the building converted and we were able to sell our apartment at a nice profit; we used the money to plan for a house in the Catskills and for a down-payment on a pied-à-terre on 103^rd Street. After the 1990-91 recession we gave up the New York apartment and moved to Connecticut where Ransom took his current position at Yale. I returned to school to finally finish my degree and started working at Yale myself in 1994.

25 years! It's hard to believe in some ways, but, on second thought, it is the only possibility. By that I mean that Ransom and I are a terrific fit and I can't imagine either of us ever finding another mate so perfectly complementary. Where I am emotional and cry easily, he is stronger and supports me; where he is disorganized and at loose ends, I am there to find things, pick up the pieces and get us through it; he calms my manic need to run around and do things; I calm and caress him when the stresses of his career get to be too much.

It's not perfect of course, but it's far better than I ever believed possible. So to you, Ransom, I say happy anniversary, and . . .

You're the reason I'm livin' You're the breath that I take You're the stars in my heaven You're the sun when I wake. You're the reason I'm livin' Oh, you carry me through All of life's little burdens I'd be lost without you.* *with thanks to the immortal Bobby Darin