98 years of love

Grandmother and granddaughter in 2009

Stella Moleske was 98 when she died this morning; with her was her loving granddaughter Suzanne and Suzanne's husband, her equally devoted grandson Michael. She was Babci -- "grandma" in Polish -- to them, and to all of us who knew her. This is not her obituary; I am not competent to write that.

Instead this is a tribute to the amazing and heart-warming affection Suzanne and Mike showed this woman. I stand in awe at the devotion they exhibited during all of the 16 years I have known them, and, undoubtedly, long before that. When I first met Babci she was still living in her own home, and still working part time at Yale -- and she was over 80 years old! Suzanne regularly took her out, had lunch with her, went shopping with her -- she was totally involved in her life. When Stella could no longer handle the house by herself, Suzanne and Mike made room for her in their home and looked after her for several years.

Eventually Babci needed more care than they could provide and so she moved into Mary Wade Home and then Hamden Health Care Center. Suzanne visited every day, most of the time with Mike as well. She timed her visits so she could be there at dinner time to make sure Babci was getting enough to eat and to continue a years-long tradition of family meals together. I joined them on a few of those visits; it was always uplifting to see the love flowing back and forth in that room.

Babci has always been a part of Suzanne's life. It was really she who raised Suzanne and it has always been she who looked out for her. As the tables turned Suzanne graciously changed roles; there's never been a time when one of them wasn't looking out for the other.

I am a cynic; I am a pessimist; but here's yet another argument against my nature. Thank you Suzanne, and Michael, for showing me love at work.

Stella Moleske 1911-2010